Canadian Imam: “You have to choose either Allah or Canada”; wife must obey and serve her husband.

Abdi Hersy is the Imam of Abu Bakr Musallah in Calgary, Alberta and a prominent voice in Calgary’s Somali community.

CBC reported (March 9, 2015) that Hersy is wanted in the United States on sexual assault charges. Hersy, 46-year-old Somali national, denies the allegations that he sexually assaulted two women while working as a respiratory therapist in the United States in 2006.

According to the CBC report, the Immigration and Refugee Board decided to terminate Hersy’s refugee status after a hearing was held behind closed doors at its office in Calgary on June 2, 2015. Hersy said that he plans to appeal the ruling.

In his lectures at Abu Bakr Musallah [mosque], Imam Abdi Hersy explained to his congregation, men and women alike, the duties and rights of the husband and wife and advised them how to improve the marital relationship based on the Islamic Law.

The following are excerpts of Imam Abdi Hersy’s speech, which was uploaded to YouTube on March 4, 2015:

“It is really important to know what are your rights so you can claim them… The husband has many rights [حقوق] on his wife… first and foremost, she has to obey you. She has to obey you, ok. He comes with the orders. You have to give orders and she has to obey you, ok. What is the order? ok. You cannot order anything haram [forbidden]… the order has to be something halal [permissible], something accepted according the Shariah [Islamic Law].

“The second thing is you should not be arrogant on your orders and commands… She has to obey you as long as you are ordering something which is not haram [forbidden]… If that [giving orders] is what makes him happy, and he is that bad guy, serve him, because it is not haram [forbidden] to serve him. It is one of the rights upon the wife as long as the man is going out to win the bread, she has to take care of the house. That’s one of the rights of the husband for his wife. So she is going to cook and clean and prepare food… So she has to obey you.

“And the biggest thing when it comes to obeying your husband, ladies, is when he calls you in the bed stop what you are doing, quit. O I’m cooking. Turn it off. What wrong with that. Come back for it. Obey your husband.

“Why? The Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, said in a hadith [narration]: When the man invites his wife [اذا دعا الرجل امرأته] and that hadith is reported by Abu Huraiah in Bukhari [Bukhari Hadith Collection] and Muslim [Muslim Hadith Collection], he says: When a man invites his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he (the husband) spends the sight being angry with her, the angels curse her until morning [اذا دعا الرجل امرأته إلى فراشه فأبت فلم تأته فبات غضبان عليها لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح]. And in a narration [رواية]: the One Who is in the heaven is displeased with her until he (her husband) is pleased with her [إلا كان الذي في السماء ساخطاً عليها حتى يرضى عنها].

“If a man calls his wife for intimacy and she doesn’t fulfill or accommodate the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says, and he sleeps angry at her the entire night, angels of Allah are cursing this woman. Say: Allah’s curse will be upon you [لعنة الله عليك ]. You don’t want to be cursed by the angels of Allah, the most glorified, the most high. And that is his right. You have no say in it.

“Now, what if she is sick? What if it’s haram [forbidden], still command has to be appropriate. She is in period. It’s haram [forbidden]. She is going to say to you: Get lost. No! Nothing for you. I am in my time. You know. Leave me alone. She gave birth. She is still bleeding, forty days or something like that, sometimes sixty days. That why the wisdom behind having another wife… If the approach is based on haram [forbidden act in Islam] no obedience for that haram. However, if there is no excuse, acceptable excuse according to the Shariah [Islamic Law] and she refuses, she is cursed by the Allah, the most glorified, the most high, and His angels…

“The Western culture is different. Remember ladies, we are Muslims and we are accountable to Allah, the most glorified, the most high, and one of the things Allah will asks us is the obedience of the wife to her husband… When the Day of Judgment, a lady comes [saying] that she prayed five times a day, not more, just five times, five prayers, and she fasted the month of Ramadan every year, and she obeyed her husband, she will be told: go and enter the jannah [paradise] in any gate you wish. So she can go the best gate, because of that obedience. It just days are counted, obey Allah, the most glorified, the most high, with this man.

“He could be the worst guy, but obey him still, so you can earn the pleasing of Allah [رضا الله], the most glorified, the most high, pleasing of Allah, the most glorified, the most high. What is better than Allah being pleased with you? Nothing is better than that. Then obey him.

“The other thing that a lady is mandated to fulfill for the husband as a right is she cannot bring anyone home that he dislikes. And she cannot make anyone to sit on his own seat in the house, if you have a seat in the house, or in the bed. She should not allow anybody to come and sleep in the bed. It’s haram [forbidden]. It’s not only haram [forbidden], it’s also shame. That’s privacy, you know. Nobody can see the room and can go into it and sleep on your bed. Not even kids.

“And now if the person that she is going to bring t her house, or to your house, is somebody that you have a problem with it’s not allowed unless he allows it, and he says it’s fine, let him come to you. So she cannot bring anyone home without the permission of the husband.

“The other thing is she has to safeguard his property. She has to safe guard his money and his property. There are women they intentionally destroy the money of the husband… They spend the money of the husband aimlessly, just to destroy his save [savings] so he cannot think about marrying another woman. That’s idiotic, right? She is accountable to Allah, the most glorified, the most high, if she does that…

“The other thing that is a right upon the wife for her husband is she cannot leave the house without his permission. I’m free you, you know. This is Canada. Nobody is free. Why? Because Allah, the most glorified, the most high, says through the Prophet [Muhammad], peace and blessing be upon him, trust Allah wherever you are [اتق الله حيثما كنت] includes Canada, includes America, includes the Western Countries, includes Arab countries, includes anywhere in the world, because everywhere you are there is Allah, the most glorified, the most high, and you are a Muslim. So since when we are free? We are not free. We are always slaves to Allah, the most glorified, the most high, servants to Allah, and we are here to please Allah, the most glorified, the most high.

“So that ideology, you know I came to Canada, freedom starts here, if you mean freedom being disobedient to Allah, the most glorified, the most high, be my guest, but that what it is. You have to choose either Allah, the most glorified, the most high, or Canada. Canada is a feminine country. So ladies, the other thing that I want you to quit from your life is feminism. Sometimes they ask you questions that you cannot even answer. They want to match the men in everything…

“A girl asked me, young girl asked me: a man is allowed to have multiple wife in the jannah [paradise], why not me? Or in here. Why not me? You can’t handle man. You cannot. This is deadly. A lady shared? That’s why they call prostitute. That’s why they call what? Yeah, prostitute. You cannot be shared. You are more valuable than that. It’s shame. It’s shame [عيب]. And the other thing you are the factory of the off-springs. Who is going to take that child?…

“One of the rights of the husband upon his wife is to keep her, herself, just for him and saving that secret for him and she could not expose herself to someone else.”

The following are excerpts of Imam Abdi Hersy’s speech, which was uploaded to YouTube on February 23, 2015:

“The husbands have duties upon their wives, or rights upon their wives. The first one is obedience… when we say obedience what if you ordered something haram [forbidden action]? She is not going to listen to it. She will tell you: sorry, this is not your limits… She will obey you when you order something that is not haram [forbidden], that is not not harmful, that is not oppressing her own rights. You know what I mean. It has to be something normal.

“For example, you tell your wife: do this, cook food, she has to obey you, because cooking food is not haram [forbidden] and it is not harmful physically or mentally and it is not something that will degrade her or bother her or press her own rights. She has to obey you then.

“And ladies, you have to obey your husbands and once you obey them you own them and that is the catch. Men they look strong outside, but when they come home they are weak, and ladies can manipulate them. If they give you good food and smile you are a dead man. They own you. They can manage using. That’s what it is. So ladies, use those tricks…

“First and foremost, ladies obey husbands. What they obey with? When they ask something that is appropriate in his home. First and foremost, if you order her to pray or to obey Allah, the most glorified, the most high, she has no choice but to obey him. If he orders something that is beneficial to him, however that will not be harmful to her.

“For example, give me food. So that’s beneficial to him and that is not going to harm her, and that is not going to oppress her own rights, she will be oppressed and that will not degrade her or humiliate her, then she has to obey him…

“The other thing that she has to obey on the husband is when he needs her in bed. Absolutely. Unless she is sick and unless she is in a period, unless she is fasting fard [religious duty]. If she is fasting sunnah [voluntary] he can break it, okay. She cannot even fast sunnah [voluntary fast] when her husband is at home unless he permits. I want to fast Monday. Monday? I think I can stay of you. Yeah, Monday, go ahead. No! Don’t do that! He makes the rules when it comes to that stuff, right?

“So if husband calls his wife to his bed and she refuses without any valid excuse, and valid I mean valid to the Shariah [Islamic Law]. The Prophet [Muhammad], the most glorified, the most high, says: When a man invites his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he (the husband) spends the sight being angry with her, the angels curse her until morning, and in a narration: the One Who is in the heaven is displeased with her until he (her husband) is pleased with her [اذا دعا الرجل مراة الى فراشه فلم تاتي وفي رواية فابت لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح وفي رواية الا كان الذي في السماء ساخطا عليها].

“If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses to come the angels will curse until the morning. Another narration [رواية] Allah, the most glorified, the most high, will be angry at her until that man becomes happy with her. There is another narration [رواية] that says: no prayer [صلاة] will be accepted for her for forty days.

“So she has to have valid excuse to refuse the bed. Do you understand that? Like she is in a period, it’s a sin [معصية] nobody will allow to, she gave birth and she is still seeing the blood, until that going away she can refuse him, she has to refuse him, not she can refuse him, she has to refuse him. And the other thing, she is sick and this thing is not, you know she is feeling sick and then you’ll have to understand. I don’t care if you are sick or not. No, you have to care. You have to care. She is sick she can refuse. Otherwise, if she just refuses because she is angry at you it’s not something that she can punish you with. This is something that she granted and agreed upon when she was signing the contract, I was saying: yes, yes, yes, in the first day that she will provide you all the times. So she cannot refuse that.

“I missed one thing very important. In the duties of the wife upon the husband before, so I go back. If you don’t provide enough your wife is allowed to steal your money. Do you understand? That means if you are selfish she can steal money from you… Stealing is haram [forbidden], right? If you find your wife pick-pocketing you, you better understand something that you are selfish and stingy, give money. You are providing enough. Don’t look everything from the the negative angle. O she is a thief! No. Look at it from the other side, maybe I’m not giving her enough. Maybe I’m depriving this woman until she is forced to check my pockets and my wallet, right? Look everything from the positive angle…

“So if you see your wife trying to steal money from you, that means that you are not giving enough, you are not providing enough. Also she doesn’t have the trust from you. You did not trust her with the money. You know, she has to be in the account and she has to have her own car so when she goes out she can buy stuff without you even know it. She will neve need it. Trust me. The minute she gets that and she has that kind of car or checking card and she can access to the account and take money from it, unless there is another problem, they may never use that car.

“I swear by Allah [والله] they may never use it. My wife has it and she never uses. She hates it, because she wants me to buy stuff, so go and do the groceries. I would say: you have a car, you know, you want to do it? No. So give them, earn that trust, give them ability that they can trust you when it comes to money. And the money is the least thing that you need to fight with your wife. It’s useless…

“She has to listen if he orders to restrain herself or refrain from haram [forbidden action]. She wants to do haram [forbidden action], and he says no, she has to obey him with that. Why? Because Allah, the most glorified, the most high, talks to the man in the Quran and says: O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire [ يا ايها الذين امنوا قوا انفسكم واهليكم نارا ], those who believe in Allah, the most glorified, the most high, O believers, save your family and you wife from the hell-fire who is fuelled with men and stones. So you save your wife and your children from doing haram [forbidden action]. If they tell they are going to do that, and you say: No! She has to obey you. She has to obey you. She has no choice but to obey you. It’s the opposite of, if you order to do prayer [صلاة], do prayers… she has to obey you, she cannot say no. So the second duty she has to restrain herself or refrain from fasting when the husband is at home, and that fasting is sunnah [voluntary fasting]…

“Another thing, she is not allowed to bring anyone or to let anyone to come into your house unless you allowed her someone. Or let me rephrase it. She is not allowed to bring someone that you dislike to your house… Your bed is your privacy. The bedroom, she should not allow anybody to go in your bedroom and sit on the bed. Right? That’s your privacy…

“The last duty for woman is to run the house reasonably, meaning she is responsible of the… cooking, cleaning, yeah she is responsible of cooking and cleaning and raising the kids, teaching kids a good, although you as a man need to be the guardian to your kids, teach them what’s right from what’s wrong. However, she is the principal of the house when it comes to education [تربية] or training the kids… The culture is the one that decides… now in Canada people share duties in the kitchen, rights? Men cook and women cook… So the culture is different. So do not bring the culture of back home here in Canada…”