A 28-year-old Oklahoma woman was caught with drugs and a firearm in all of the wrong places.

The Smoking Gun reports that Christie Dawn Harris was arrested on Monday, after Ada police officers spotted her and another woman, Jennifer Delancy, inside of a vehicle outside of a closed restaurant. Cops noticed that “both seats were laid all the way back.” When Delancy and Harris were asked if any weapons or drugs were inside of the vehicle, Harris said “she did not think there was anything.”

Though when a police dog began sniffing around, it immediately suspected there were drugs and weapons inside of the Toyota Yaris. After cops searched the vehicle, hey retrieved meth, drug paraphernalia, a pistol, and a loaded magazine.

Harris and Delancy were then arrested.

During the ride to jail, Harris “stated several times that she needed to go to the bathroom.”

At lockup, Harris was asked to change into jail clothing. Before going to the bathroom, an officer asked her to lower her underwear for a contraband check. Harris told the officer that she was on her period and could not comply; she eventually lowered her underwear.

But the cop did not find contraband, sshe found a loaded Freedom Arms .22-caliber handgun, which was loaded with three live rounds and one spent shell. “I observed at that time a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina area,” reported Officer Kathy Unbewust, who added that she “pulled the item from her vagina, and found it to be a 5 shot revolver with rounds in the chamber.”

Guess she was caught “vag-handed.” (red-handed, vag-handed?)

The police reports states that the “gun (was) located in suspect(‘s) vagina.” The cops also discovered plastic baggies containing methamphetamine lodged in the crack of Harris’s buttocks.

Harris was scheduled to be arraigned this afternoon on felony weapons and narcotics charges.

Indeed, this young woman was “full” of trouble.

Okay, I ain’t gonna say a goddam thing about this one, because it would be too hard not to make rude jokes.